Sexual dismay and Bisexualism

Before we enter the topic of sexual dismay, it's necessary to explain the identification dismay as a brief introduction. A case of identification dismay included a personal statement to which he began to do some behaviors that are against or alien with his natural features including sexual and psychological features... Although there is no external force. For example victims those who their personality damaged as a result of a crime, such as victims of rape and victims of bullying, due to the intense dissatisfaction of feeling coming created characteristics of their personality and those who suffer from depression due to losing relationship with environmental elements are both such as group identity to be identification dismay. But sexual dismay may be the result of independent identification dismay or even create it in person. Thus a person than its normal sexual orientation or motivation to be indifferent and its dismay allows him to picks up other sexual behavior which is outside of his nature to satisfy his sexual desire.
Causes such as sexual addiction and unpleasant memories of sexual behavior can cause a person to determine the sexual dismay. In most cases these people introduce bisexual as their sexual orientation, but in fact losing sexual motivation, whiles a person objectively unable to communicate with his sexual orientation can be the cause of the formation of such a sexual behavior. In such circumstances a person to satisfy his sexual desire may pickup sexual behavior that is outside of his nature, and he is unable to communicate with it on psychic. As users of sex toys who aren't able to have mental communication with these instruments, they also feel and experience similar sexual behavior with their sexual partner. In many cases those who sufferers from sexual dismay are unaware of their dismay or even accepted as a normal treatment. 

Sexual Stunting

The advent of exhibitionism as one of the components of the New Wave cinema started from the 60s and continues to the present. As the scenes of nudity is the supplier of the audiences’ demands, it has also become one of the most important demands of the producers. However, the producers have often raised their demands to film producers in an obligatory way. The actors must realize these demands. This isn't the case that what some actors have told about their first experiences of scenes including nudity in their interviews; Nervous or any exertion to prepare themselves to play such a role. All these feelings can be count on their first experience. The subject of this discussion is about the social and cultural bases that these actors appear from. An actor is not a person who has worked in a restaurant before or has been performing non-specialized and common place tasks and has suddenly entered cinema. Expecting this group to play roles and scenes of nudity is a counter-cultural expectation. Public nudity is not something that a citizen (or in other word member) of pop culture can accept. The director or anyone else who enters cinema can't ask for the changes in the general policies of cinema. But there is always the possibility of changes within each system. So that both producers and audiences’ demands are fulfilled. As there are stuntmen for dangerous cinema activities, it is possible to consider models for sexual activities and nudity. Thus, not only the social and cultural bases from which most actors usually arise from would not be damaged and expose them to cultural exchange with which they have lived and have grown, but also the needs of both producers and cinema is provided. Unfortunately we can't ignore the obstacles in the way of reforming approaches. Because there are always some people working in a restaurant who have transferred to cinema and accept the reality of cinematic exhibitionism aren't willing to make an effort to reform the system. This group has always reminded me of Mao's Red Army. A number of young people in the community that couldn't succeed started to defend Mao's dictatorship in the harshest way possible, so that they can be benefited in this way.

Destructive Minority

Economical and cultural criterion and standards cause some minority groups to avoid entering social competitions automatically. These groups are divided into two: (1) Groups which don't join social competitions because of free choice e.g. cultural and conscience minorities which cannot participate in this cultural competitions because of not accepting pop culture. (2) Groups which lose their chance to join because of not having necessary abilities in being matched with social and cultural standards, while they believe in pop culture of society. Such as those who tend to have educational degrees but won't have it because of current economic conditions and can't enter social competitions. Accepting this fact will be difficult for second minority group when the state gives the same facilities to foreign and non-local members who can match with this economic and cultural system. So this minority will feel out by the society. This will make them follow their benefits non-legally, some ways which are definitely non-legal and perhaps in conflict with public ethics. No doubt that we can't expect this minority to be the same as others. Because they don't have an equal opportunity with others to join social competitions and have a positive impact on society. Or they have paid more than others to have such an opportunity. But it does not mean to accept them as destructive and anti-social minority. So it is necessary to have a little society in the heart of a big one for this minority same as small societies made for non-local or religious minorities such as Chinese people. So this minority will follow the rules of that small society in which it is a member. And also there is no need for it to break the rules and public ethics for its own benefit.

Los Angles and New York report

Nothing has changed in Los Angles since the last time I have been in there. Only people have become a little impatient but the same method is taking place over and over. Los Angles weather is naturally good unlike New York’s sunny along with cold weather. But now everywhere is cold. Although Los Angles has various cultures, its culture doesn't let you experience them all yet in New York you can experience different cultures and even live them for a period of time. This is free like eating different foods. Yet, culture of Los Angles is a simple one for the people who are seeking a comfortable life. But what does simple mean?
It means that there is no special social and cultural pressure to accept different roles and tasks. Your friends don't do special jobs in Los Angeles. They eat, wake up and sleep late, and enjoy their lives. This may be big part of their lives. But your friends might have various types of tasks to do in their weekly and daily schedule in New York. When most of your friends and those with whom you communicate, follow such a behavioral method you will be forced to do the same. In fact a kind of social and cultural pressure in New York makes you have such a schedule in your life. But New York’s society is less influenced by media's pressure because of its cultural variation. So we can claim that liberty culture governs in this city. Cultural pressure which is caused by competition and has turned into a non-separable cultural part in Los Angles has a non-significant place in New York. With all these facts, there is no cultural relation between New York City and its citizens. Even those who have been born and grown in this city have not passion for this city. We cannot say that this characteristic is not in New York as this city is a multinational city, because LA has the same property.
The last thing about LA is that the emotional reactions of LA’s people are strictly affected by tradition. It should be note that traditionalism is not restricted to a set of beliefs and life styles. The reason and also the quality of emotional reactions to events can be included in tradition e.g. emotional reaction to divorce, children and family incompatibility, a break up between a boy and a girl. A New York citizen needs less time to match himself to the condition. He can come over problems easily. But a citizen of LA usually needs much more time to accept some facts and handle them. This is because LA culture wants you to seek a comfortable life experience. But New York culture tells you that if everything is good, it is excellent; if not,it is normal!

It's Her

Him: So, where should the story start?
Her: From where it is not allowed to! 
Him: So let's start from the beginning.
Her: Do you think it could have a start?!
Him: We shall see.
Her: How many of them?
Him: I know a few things about you, but I want you to tell them. Her: Well...
Him: Tell me about your days, how do you spend them? 
Her: I listen to a bit loud music and dance. Isn't that insane?! (She Laughs)
Him: No, not as insane as this conversation!
Her: What are you doing these days? 
Him: Now I am not the subject! Why didn't you sue?
Her: Does your addressee know what are you asking me about? Him: kind of.
Her: What would I gain instead? Scandal! Can you think about it? What I have been made could be used against me! 
Him: What was your idea about such these things before that happens to you? 
Her: I guess I should say I even didn't think about it.
Him: What did you feel at that moment?
Her: What would you do if you were me? 
Him: I have no idea.
Her: Fear. I was so afraid that I couldn't even use my power to defend myself. 
Him: Why do you think he did so? Has he ever tried to make love to you? 
Her: No, no, never. He even didn't ask me to do such a thing. 
Him: How did it happen?
Her: A smack on my buttocks & vagina area & then he quickly put his hands under my arms & locked both his arms around my neck &… 
Him: Did he say anything?
Her: No, shall I continue the rest?
Him: No, did he use violence?
Her: No it wasn't like that; he just wanted to show off his stamina. Him: Which part was the worst?
Her: Humiliating... he treated humiliating. 
Him: Do you think he was enjoying? 
Her: He pretended so…but I'm sure he was trying to make me feel bad… in other word awful.
Him: How do you know? You said he didn't use violence…
Her: By his indifference & his so-called attempt to make me calm Him: Did he want to make you angry? 
Her: Absolutely. 
Him: Were you alone? I mean, wasn't there any one whom you ask for help?  
Her: Yeah, but I was ready to do whatever he wants but no one see me at that situation, it was humiliating!
Him: How much did you know him? 
Her: By means of a friend
Him: Are you sure? 
Her: I assume.
Him: What did he do then?
Her: Are you always so much mean?
Him: What?!
Her: He said “are you always so much mean?”
Him: Did it affect your life or behavior?
Her: That's why I am alone.
Him: You mean you don't want to have any relationships?
Her: It's difficult for me to establish relationship.
Him: You can consider it this way: You're not the only victim.
Her: Yeah but It didn't help. When you want something, you may do anything for it & you may be so sad not having it. No matter how many people can live without it, it's always like that!
Him: Did you communicate that person ever after?
Her: No, I didn't.
Him: Did you see him again?
Her: You see him too. I guess.
Him: So he's well known like you?
Her: Anyway.
Him: Let's hark back to your past memories, to your first experiences.
Her: Go on.
Him: When did you understand the physical differences between men & women?
Her: What a question!! Well, by the birth of my younger brother Him: How old were you?
Her: I guess I was 6.
Him: Don't you want to add anything?
Her: well at first I thought my brother has physical disability but my mother resolved my concern.
Him: how did you experience your first libido?
Her: When I first started experiencing sexual desire all my notions of opposite sex were still so tyro. But I wasn't feeling the same anymore.
Him: If your image about opposite sex were still so childish, how did you experience sexual desire?
Her: in dream.
Him: Actually the thing I am going to ask is a joke, but did you ever have had lip biting, too?
Her: To be honest with you, this is related to a time that you feel the pleasure & pain together but you don't want this pain cause a reaction so that it changes the way you are enjoying. I guess it is physiological.
Him: Which one makes you more upset: if someone bothers you or if you bother someone?
Her: I used to think the former would make me more upset, but there is something that I have never forgotten.
Him: What is that?
Her: I killed my daughter.
Him: You shocked me! What do you mean?!
Her: Abortion.
Him: How old were you?
Her: Two years ago.
Him: Now, back to now. What was the influencer element in your life?
Her: Competition & needs.
Him: Elaborate on it. 
Her: When no one respects you, it is not difficult to choose the option that there is no respect in it & when they do respect you; it is difficult to choose those options that reduce your respect
Him: So you didn't sue him because you didn't want to lose your respect?
Her: indeed.
Him: Or about the abortion?
Her: Maybe.
Him: Recently you received both good & bad news. 
Her: I was told that Mrs. Anna .M is dead.
Him: I am sorry.
Her: I was surprised when they told me this; I wondered why they tell me about this death?
Him: why did you think so?
Her: I don't know. I forgot it. It was unfamiliar to me.
Him: Was it hard to lose your mother?
Her: It was difficult for me, but I felt a new thing inside.
Him: What kind of feeling?
Her: Emptiness.
Him: What does it like? 
Her: Evanescence. 
Him: Did you think about your mother?
Her: No but I think about myself. I remember when I was a child, once my mother told me that her heart hurts so much,& I thought she was going to die, I told her not to sleep because I thought she will die if she sleep.
Him: Did she do so?
Her: No she slept but I couldn't.
Him: At the end, what was the highest price you paid? Abortion or not suing the one who raped you? 
Her: I am sure I did the latter for saving my face, but I am not sure about the former, so I prefer not to choose.

The Man Who Named Father

I remember that the relationship between me and my father was the same as US and former Soviet. I thought that my life would be better without him. Sometimes our dreams come true but the things we expect go wrong. It was a spring afternoon and it was still a little cold. I think I was about 16 at that time. I was noticed that my father is called but he does not answer. Well it shouldn't have been that much important. I called him. It left unanswered. First I started to laugh, for the first 15 minute losing my father was such unbelievable for me that I took it as a joke. A huge emotional reaction happens just when you expect something otherwise you might react in a shallow way. But after a few minutes I could feel scared more than any other feeling, scared of losing my father. I wasn't sad at that moment. I couldn't cry. I understood then the people only just can cry in secure moments. If one of our friends talks in a childish way to his father, I'll tell you he's treating like a child. But I'll praise him from inside. The last memory I have with my father is like an treasure. I went to park with my father in childhood, it was about to be a ceremony there. I wanted him to wait for the ceremony. He rejected and told me: “you don't have to accept it at the moment. But you have some minutes to get on with yourself.”

Common Sense

I can feel that she's mad at me but trying to pretend she's calm. Her anger is vain for me; without any benefit so I don't look her in the eye because I don't want her to suffer of pretending anymore. The only thing that I learnt from her is that sometime people will show they're weak or even sacrifice themselves to attract others. She said that she has been bullied several times in high school time, such as Lady Gaga. I can understand that it was only a show. The only thing she has is that she's depressed. I think that maybe Virginia Wolf's claim to be sexual abuse in her childhood or Marilyn Monroe's stated childhood tragedy in the book autobiography “My Story” which reminds me of Jane Eyre story of Charlotte Brontë, the popular writer, will be all lies. They both seem to be suffered from depression. After a long silent she starts talking and I know that she wants to start a new story after an older one like many others. She wants to be a hero in this story if she wasn't in other stories even if she's the only writer and reader of it. She asks: “Do you remember you told me that you know a dictionary of my smiles?” 
It was better if she has never asked me such a question. I know that she'll get angry because of this question. What ever my answer is, it is not friendly. She gets obviously disappointed. She asks: “Such a serious, Why?”
I prefer a friendly answer for sure and maybe one of my reasons to leave her was because I didn't want to talk in a way that I dislike. Less than an hour later I find myself in a cab to airport. It is night and I don't even say a word to the driver. Leaving this city to me is leaving a life.

A Free Beautiful Lady (Movie)

Happy 2014!
And a gift with fun and peace to my friends.